A relationship could not be started without meeting each other. Social media allows us to communicate with ease and comfort over distances. Text messages can be sent across the globe and within seconds. Facebook, Tinder and Snapchat are all great dating tools. But does this also remove the ability to build a relationship? We can communicate with each other without ever having to meet in person. This allows us to feel more comfortable about ourselves and to learn about the other before we actually meet. Social media can be a great way to “get a feel” for someone. But, is that person real or are you just creating a false impression? Couples can watch their relationship grow online. Privacy cannot be guaranteed. Couples might not agree on what information is shared or how. As technology grows, people are able to share their relationships on social media for others to see. Other apps have the sole purpose of connecting with others, whereas some are created specifically to help people date. Facebook, the most popular platform for social media, has more than 1 Billion users. Facebook, created by Mark Zuckerberg in 2004, while he attended Harvard University, is an entirely virtual community. There are millions of profiles, many of which are believed to be fake. Facebook sites are great for reconnecting old friends or family, as well finding potential romantic interest. Users can upload photos, share stories and find others who like the same things. Facebook’s success is partly due to its ability for people to connect with new people. The theories can be applied to determine whether a social networking connection becomes a real relationship. In discussing romantic relationships on social media, we use the Relational dialectics (RDT) theory. This analyzes what forces are at work in bringing couples together and separating them. According to Relational Dialectics, couples should try to balance their forces. The dialectics that act on a relationship occur between the couple, as well between the couple and the social network. Three dialectics are integration-separation, expression-privacy, and stability-change. Integration-separation focuses on how a couple acts on social media together (inclusion) and separately (exclusion). The difference between “we”, “I” and other social media sites is this. Do they post pictures of them both doing activities, or just “their thing”? Are there multiple Facebook pages or Instagram accounts? Do “followers'” get shared? Are both partners willing to share their private lives or prefer one partner to do so? Expression-privacy deals with privacy issues on social networks. How much is revealed about a person’s relationship on social media? How much of a relationship is shared on social media? Too much sharing can reduce intimacy in a relationship. There isn’t enough “just us”. Families and friends may wonder about the validity of a relationship if it’s not publicly shared. The couple that has a strong relationship can balance the sharing of too much information with not enough. Stability and change is a dialectic which balances things in a relational relationship that remain constant with those things that are changing. Healthy relationships are characterized by small, positive changes. It is only natural that as people develop and grow, their relationship will also develop. The real question is how much changes. All of these things can impact your relationship. Does the couple use one Facebook page now and delete their old accounts online? What happens if the partners have different opinions about a candidate or like a different one? Both partners have to agree that there is a balance in terms of stability and change. Otherwise, the uncertainty might lead to jealousy or anger.
People are often interested in the lives of their partners. People who are in a good relationship will often share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences. In a relationship that is healthy, both partners can be asked directly. In this way, the other partner can be seen and heard, as well a body language or facial expressions. People can use social media to spy on their partners in a more discreet way. Using social media sites to spy on your partner online or offline is one way that you can do this. It’s possible for one partner to notice that the other partner is “liking”, or leaving comments on pictures of others. This could lead them to be jealous and cause tension in their relationship. These two scenarios are neither good nor healthy for a relationship. Because of the lack privacy, it’s easy for someone to learn about a partner. Researchers found that more time spent on Facebook made people more jealous.
In a romantic relationship, jealousy can be categorized by gender. Women are generally more jealous about emotional infidelity while men are typically more jealous about physical infidelity. Both men and women can be tempted by social media. Online interaction and outreach can create emotional bonds between partners, resulting in praise or attention that they might not receive otherwise. Being anonymous can lead to lewd behaviour, pornographic images or texts, or cyber-stalking. Dating apps can be dangerous. According to an article, over the past 4 years 17 people have been raped by using Grindr or Tinder in Greater Manchester. The number of victims was staggering, with 58 individuals being victimized in total by crimes related to online dating. The number of assaults is higher than 3 per month. Sexual assaults are on the rise as online dating grows in popularity. Pew Research Center reports that adult dating service usage tripled from 2008 to 2013. Attacks on British citizens involving online dating have increased by six times in the same time period. Stephen Port, a UK man convicted of murdering four gay men that he met through the dating app Grindr in 2016, was sentenced to prison. Match.com began to screen US members against a list of known sexual offenders in 2011 after a woman claiming she was raped sued the site. Match.com is also linked to the serial rapist Jason Lawrence. He was convicted by the court of raping women he had met online. The use of dating apps was shown to increase the risk of “sexual assault” by about two times compared to non-users. Social media can be used to start new relationships, but can also end them. It is possible for partners to end a relationship via text, phone, or social media sites rather than face-to-face. In the early days of the relationship, the phone was viewed as an impersonal way to end the relationship, since it implied that the partner had chosen not to do so face-toface. Social media allows people to end a relationship in a more private way, without having to face their partner. They can even change the relationship status on Facebook without letting them know. Social media’s impact on the development of romantic relationships, conflicts and their dissolution is now clear. The positive effects of social networking can extend to romantic relationships, especially if the partners agree that they will publish their relationship. Social media is fast-paced. Fast information is useful for business but it can also be detrimental to couples. The majority of people need social support to feel loved, cared-for, and heard. This social support can be beneficial to both physical and mental health. People can get too focused on meaningless data or try to constantly project a false perception of perfection. It is easy to become obsessed with what other people think, which can lead to a constant attempt to be “perfect”. This obsession can quickly turn into an unhealthy obsession. Social media has opened up many opportunities for couples. They are also a great way to network with others. A commitment made on social media is just like a personal commitment. Whatever the way you choose to begin your relationship, what matters most is that it feels real.
